I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
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No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
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I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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