I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
