i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared