i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
