The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
