This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This is the high leading the old right now
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize