i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize