just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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