He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
