why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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