i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
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If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
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Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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