I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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