If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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