the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
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We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
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It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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