Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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