I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
