My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
