I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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