If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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