you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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