so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
