I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
