Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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