I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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