We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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