I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
