dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We are two peas in an std pod
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
