so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.