y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now