It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
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Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
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Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.