Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
