Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
