hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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