We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
