There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
