Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
