So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
