so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It was confusing and full of hummus
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
