We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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