I accidentally had phone sex last night
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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