she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
