So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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