2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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