are you so shy because you have an std?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
