Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
