just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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