whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
