Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
