He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
