I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
