I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
