community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
