I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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