Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I want a musical about memes.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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