i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
