Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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