OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
