Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
