Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
