Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
