So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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