i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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