I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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