i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I am midnight drunk by noon
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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