i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
