Welp...herpes.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
