I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
