Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
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She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
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sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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