So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
