It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
My balls are so social today.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
