You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
